Jan

Healing my relationship with money

Article by Tabitha | Filed Under Abundance, Articles, Freedom

The focus of the 21-day fast for me personally has been healing my relationship with money. In the past I attempted this healing for myself, so that I could be free to do what I wanted. I had some success but realised that partial healing is not really healing at all. So this year, I am healing my relationship with money for the sake of my children, my husband, my parents, my church family, the online communities I support, and the people I serve in Lesotho.

The first step was receiving the fullness of God’s Love. I knew mentally that God loves me but as I started meditating on the different kinds of love, I relasized that I have never really experienced Agape Love: Unconditionl, Pure, everlasting Love that cones directly from Source and is the beginning of all creative power. I needed to go beyond the level of fellowship with God to truly experience “perfect love that casts out all fear”.

At the root of all money blocks that I formed over the years was the fear of the unknown. I made it my mission in life (before I came to Christ) to know everthing there was about every situation I went through. Armed with knowledge, I felt confident enough to tackle problems and challenges. Without adequate knoweldge, I simply did not venture into new territory. As a result, I let many good opportunities slip by and often remained stuck in the same situation long past its’s due-by date.

My book (to be publsihed sometime this year) ,Travelling into Unknown Places, is about overcoming this fear of the unknown. For the first time in my life, I was confronted with dimensions of reality I had to experience without knowing anything about them. I was faced with a Critical Choice: Faith or Fear.

I chose faith, but at the end of my adventure I felt dissapointed, betrayed and abandoned. I gained nothing. I went into the adventure full of hope, anticipation, curiosity, expectation, beleif and trust. I came out on the other side emotionally wounded, financially bankrupt and mentally exhausted.

The Holy Spirit has since then showed me that these experiences served as a mirror. Whenever the character of Christ was reflected, I was in a state of becoming all that God created me to be. Whenever my flawed human nature was refelcted, I was in a state of chaos. The lesson was to bring order and harmony into the chaos.

I didn’t have any grasp of the lesson at the time, but as I began reflecting on how to clear my money blocks last year, I began working through the dynamics I had gone through. My spiritual coach taught me to view every problem as a contrast. On the other side of every problem lies everything you need to solve the problem. The problem becomes small and manageable when looked at from this perspective. When chaos reigns and the problem appears bigger than you, the tools and resources needed to solve it are limited. The contrast is always created by our own perception, by where we place our focus and our level of understanding. Knowledge plays a very small part in all this. Awareness is the golden key that changes the refelction in the mirror.

I began to view money problems as contrasts to the wealth I knew I have the potential to create. In comparison to this potential for wealth-creation, my money problems are quite small. as more and more emotional, mental and spiritual issues around money, finances, work and wealth were cleared, I gained a fresh perspective on all areas of my life. I could never have attined this level of awareness without the chaos of my adventure “travelling into unknown places”.

It is ironic and yet makes perfect sense that healing my relationship with money is the way the Holy Spirit chooses to bring healing to other relationships in my life! God’s ways are truly higher than our ways…

The biggest money issue I was facing was management. I have a dismal track record when it comes to money management and had very little confidence in my ability to handle large sums of money. On two occasions in the last two years, I was entrusted with depositing very large sums of cash in the bank. Holding all that cash triggered an old temptation I thought I had conquered: if I just helped myself to a couple of hundred dollars, who would really miss it? Thankfully, the temptation had no hold over me. My conscience knows that stealing is stealing and is a sin. The Holy Spirit reminded me that to be trsuted with much responsibility, we have to be faithful in the small, everday things we are netrusted with. I had so much peace from overcoming the temptation but the lesson was not finished. The Holy Spirit led me to contemplate how the temptation arose in the first place. The fact that I perceived myself as lacking money meant there will still elements of poverty consciousness operating.

After six years of re-programming my subconscious, studying the laws of money and the principles of financial intelliegence and applying biblicl principles of wealth-creation, this lesson was really frustrating. How could there still be money blocks after all the work I did to remove them?

everything in life rests on our decisions. I knew about the power of decision-making, but it was all intellectual. I never really grasped how much power our decsions have to change a course of action.

As the new year began and I set my intentions for the 21-day fast, I made the decision to earn what I am worth this year. Immediately my consciousness was raised to a new level. I was invited to take up the position of chairperson of a charity committe. In the past, my thinking would have been : ‘this is for charity, to help people less fortunate than me- I shouldn’t ask to be paid for this’. This time I confidently stated what I expect to get paid. I turned down the opportunity to publish an article in a rpestigious business magazine because they asked me to do it for free. I gave the magazine readers a lot of freebies last year. This year I expect them to pay for the information I compile. I registered my children in the private school I want them to attend and am trusting the Uviverse to deliver the deposit I have to pay. My church agreed to pay for my final year of Bible study so that I can become a qualified marriage counselor. I thanked them and told them that since I already provide marriage counseling without the qualification, I will have to bill those who come for counseling as soon as I get the qualification. They said they will think abut it and the marriage counseling is on hold until they make a decision. Inthe meantime, I am waiting to see which reflecion shows up in the mirror.

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