Vacillation is Part of the Process

Releasing the Mind

Once you have demonstrated a willingness to absolve your self from the ego, mind, monkey on your back… whatever label you want to give it… it is likely that you will find yourself in a state of vacillation, often.  You may find that you even experience a separation of thought where you can distinctly identify the ego and its clutches while a sense of undefinable peace grows within.  However, the pain of the ego and unacknowledged emotion can be strong and detouring.  It is of value to note this and simply welcome it as part of the process of letting go into your true self.

What or Who is True?

Who is your true self?  You, unencumbered by thoughts, emotions, and pain of the past.  Much of this will come up in the present and you will feel like it’s all about now and what’s going on right now.  It is … and it isn’t.  If it’s pain based, it is past based because pain is derived from beliefs and perspectives that view life as painful.  Simple, isn’t it?  Of course it doesn’t always feel that way.  Truly, though, we start out pretty much a blank slate and acquire our world and life views… Meaning it is solely up to us to acknowledge and clear those that don’t mesh with our true self based in peace and love.  Not the spurious sense of peace and love, *pure* peace and love…

Functional Insanity

The term insanity is used in various ways.  When it comes to the mind, pretty much the whole conglomeration is one insane bunch of connections and attachments, until it no longer is.  Insane being used as a word to identify with the mind’s preponderance to sway you from not only your highest good, but that of all existence.  You may feel happy and satisfied in one moment, feeling all is well, and in the next you may sense a looming worry that creeps up on you and steals all feeling of wellness as it comes.  This is the natural process of vacillation between ego and truth that brings about a next step: choice and decision.

More than why are you here… what do you stand for, live for, breathe for… in any given moment?  Suffering, misery, stuff, money, sex, greed, drugs, food, computers, going out, living “the life,” your family, your house, your car, your problems, your neighbors’ problems, the fight last night, how wrong everything is, world peace, what?!  You decide.

The decision you make as your mind constantly asks you the questions that barrage most people as they walk through life will determine your next action steps… and the overall outcome – unconsciously walking through life asleep or consciously living life awake.  The beauty is that in each moment you get to make the decision again.  How absolutely LOVELY is that?!

Breathe, Decide, Breathe

When vacillation has you thinking that it is who you are, back up.  Breathe.  Really feel your breath come in and out of your body, lungs expanding and extracting, put every ounce of your attention in that one movement of your body.  Who are you, what do you stand for?  Part of the process is returning your self to your true self, as often as necessary.  Sounds kind of silly, but who is better to do it?  And if you need a pointer, you will find one.  Simply ask yourself, God, Consciousness, Truth… There is a lot of support for you, but you do get to ask.

Willingness is All You Need

Questions can actually be a very beneficial part of the vacillation process.  As highlighted in the work of Byron Katie as few as four questions can take you from lost in the clutches of mind based insanity… otherwise known as self inflicted misery… into a solid sense of who you are and what you bring to this life experience, by choice instead of conditioning.  It is simply your willingness that helps you along.  Willingness and decision coupled with clarity, intention, and trust will change your life.

What are you willing to do for you?  For Life?  For Humanity?  For Mother Earth?  Are you willing to take time to yourself to be with emotions and stories that you have felt are true for your whole life and gently welcome them so you can move through vacillation?  Are you willing to be wrong?  Are you willing to be right?  Are you willing to give up what you think you know for the unknowable?  Are you willing to walk through the dark into the light? Are you willing to be free?

You decide…

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